Prospective Freshman Jason Rabinowitz returned home to an unpleasant surprise this Sunday when he discovered that his parents had converted his bedroom into a bed and breakfast and, furthermore, he must now sleep next to Jerry.

buy actos online https://overcomecovid.org/publications/html/actos.html no prescription pharmacy

  “I was only gone two days for Admit Weekend!” Rabinowitz told our reporters.

buy professional cialis online https://www.archbrows.com/upload/Specials/jpg/professional-cialis.html no prescription pharmacy

“I don’t know what all the fuss is about,” stated Jason’s mother.

online pharmacy spiriva inhaler with best prices today in the USA
buy xtandi online https://overcomecovid.org/publications/html/xtandi.html no prescription pharmacy

“Now that Jason is off to college soon, this is a good way to supplement our income.  Besides, Jerry is such a sweet man.

online pharmacy strattera with best prices today in the USA
buy cellcept online https://overcomecovid.org/publications/html/cellcept.html no prescription pharmacy

However, despite Jason’s Room’s excellent reviews on Yelp and Trip Advisor, Rabinowitz remains staunchly opposed to the concept.  “Look, if you had to wake up to Jerry’s face every day for the next five months, you’d be upset too.

buy valtrex online https://www.archbrows.com/upload/Specials/jpg/valtrex.html no prescription pharmacy

This reporter found the accommodations of Jason’s Room to be very comfortable, the atmosphere positively charming, and Jerry actually quite pleasant.  The thread count on the sheets had to be at least 750 count, and Jason just got a pretty sweet new Playstation.

“Fuckin’ Jerry,” Rabinowitz purportedly stated to himself as he ascended the staircase past the complementary bagel and jam assortment.

Jerry was unavailable for comment.

You May Also Like

IHUM 2: Thinking Matters Opens to Record Crowds, Mixed Reviews

After months of anticipation, IHUM 2: Thinking Matters debuted in auditoriums across…

Op Ed: A Joseph A. Banks Employee Won’t Stop Crashing My Lecture, and When a Tie Clip Took My Right Eye I’d Had Enough

“You’re dressed like shit! Take this!” the man screams. He rips off…

Lady Gaga Wins World Series of Poker

Lady Gaga won the World Series of Poker yesterday, decisively defeating Texas…

University Representatives Revolutionize Bureaucracy

On Friday, March 8, the University rolled out a brand new model…