Prospective Freshman Jason Rabinowitz returned home to an unpleasant surprise this Sunday when he discovered that his parents had converted his bedroom into a bed and breakfast and, furthermore, he must now sleep next to Jerry. “I was only gone two days for Admit Weekend!” Rabinowitz told our reporters.
“I don’t know what all the fuss is about,” stated Jason’s mother. “Now that Jason is off to college soon, this is a good way to supplement our income. Besides, Jerry is such a sweet man.”
However, despite Jason’s Room’s excellent reviews on Yelp and Trip Advisor, Rabinowitz remains staunchly opposed to the concept. “Look, if you had to wake up to Jerry’s face every day for the next five months, you’d be upset too.”
This reporter found the accommodations of Jason’s Room to be very comfortable, the atmosphere positively charming, and Jerry actually quite pleasant. The thread count on the sheets had to be at least 750 count, and Jason just got a pretty sweet new Playstation.
“Fuckin’ Jerry,” Rabinowitz purportedly stated to himself as he ascended the staircase past the complementary bagel and jam assortment.
Jerry was unavailable for comment.
