BREAKING NEWS – early this morning, a local man experienced something that, while closely paralleling a very mundane event, differed slightly in some aspects. Experts agree that most people who read this news story have probably been through an extremely similar event in the past, and in fact may may even do so on a regular basis. But in this instance the commonplace occurrence varied just enough to be absurd.
When reached for comment, the man who went through the strange variation on an everyday action explained, “If a few things had been different, it would have been utterly unremarkable. But they happened this way instead of that way, and now it is a strange alternative.”
The situation is further complicated as news outlets continue to report this unusual-yet-fairly-quotidien happening as if it were national news, publishing articles recounting it all in absurd detail and interviewing witnesses. One witness said, “I guess it was kind of funny.”