It was a Monday afternoon like any other, or so I thought. I had just gotten back to my room from yoga class, expecting to take a long hot shower and catch up on some Gossip Girl. Little did I know what would await me. When I opened the door, I found my room riddled with pink sparkles, shiny Greek letters, and an assortment of bedazzled cups. Not a single corner was left unscathed; even my bed had a neon green sign which read, “YOUR BIG LOVES YOU, CASSIE!” My head was spinning, my heart pounding, and my mouth dry. It was a veritable home invasion, and I felt violated. At that moment my roommate walked in and said, “Hey look at all this awesome stuff, Cassie! It was your Big. She knows your schedule, so she came by when you weren’t there.” If I had known joining a sorority would involve anything other than excessive drinking, exclusive parties, girl flirting, and absurdly colored leggings, I wouldn’t have joined! THIS IS NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR!
I don’t know how my Big found out about my schedule. She knows when I’m home and when I’m in class, when I go to the gym, and when I go to dinner. I don’t know when she’ll be in my room. I’m scared. It’s not a safe space for me anymore. I thought about a restraining order, but I don’t even know whose name to put down on the legal forms! I know this is supposed to be a sweet gesture, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions! I AM IN HELL! There are fanny packs everywhere, and the multitude of shot glasses are colorful eyes that stare at me in the dark. I have panic attacks whenever I see a bedazzled phone case. I can’t sleep anymore, I’m stress eating, and if my under eye circles get any darker or I gain any more weight, my sorority sisters won’t let me sit with them! MY BIG IS SMOTHERING ME! THERE IS SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH LOVE! So to all new “baby bitchez,” be on the lookout. Lock your doors. Keep your schedules private. Big Sister is watching you.