THE ROW–Due to a recent influx of transports to the hospital on Stanford’s campus, Zipcar has decided to enter the ambulance market. Starting this Wednesday, Zipcar will have Zip ambulances available to drunk students in need of an IV.

“It’s a really smart idea,” said freshman Sarah Lasner, who has already been to the hospital three times for alcohol-related incidents. “When I get too drunk next time, it will be way easier to just drive myself to the hospital in an ambulance. And for only $7 an hour.”

Zipcar representatives explained that Zip ambulances will be available at Tresidder Union and several other locations around campus, including four permanent spots in the Kappa Sig parking lot.

To unlock a Zip ambulance, students just need to blow into a breathalyzer in the car. If the student’s BAC is above safe levels, the car will be unlocked for the student to use.

Some are concerned that drunk students will be driving themselves to the hospital, but Zipcar is confident that even if the driver were drunk, the police would never pull over an ambulance.

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