Hi all, tech guru Ken Waterman here, and I’m here to talk to you about Apple’s latest offering in their wildly popular iPad line, simply called “The New iPad.” While the new iPad is not without its flaws, some of which we’ll delve into later in the review, I can confidently say that for overall quality and ease of use there is not a better tablet on the market right now for taking pictures of my junk.

It all starts with the new iPad’s high-resolution Retina Display which Apple is promoting heavily as one of its main selling points. Pictures of my junk look absolutely gorgeous on the screen; the images are sharp and clear, and you’d be hard-pressed to even see a pixel unless you hold your face right next to the screen, which admittedly I do when looking at pictures of my junk.

Also a new feature of the latest iPad is 4G LTE connectivity, which is perfect for allowing me to upload pictures of my junk to the internet at blazing fast speeds. And with iOS5’s Twitter integration, I can effortlessly and seamlessly tweet my junk. We’ve had reports in the past of LTE negatively impacting the battery life of other devices, but fortunately here that is not the case; Apple promises the same whopping 10-hours of battery life that was present on the original iPad and iPad2. This is absolutely imperative for me, as I enjoy covertly taking pictures of my no-no parts in public places, and absolutely need the mobility that a long battery life offers.

As mentioned, there were definitely some areas where I would loved to see some improvement from the iPad 2 and didn’t get much. Ironically for a machine that seems pretty much designed for taking pictures of my junk, I would have liked better quality from the actual pictures themselves. Because there were no upgrades to the front-facing camera, I’m left using the 5 mega-pixel rear-facing iSight camera, which often necessitates awkwardly flipping the iPad upside down and straddling it to get high quality junk pictures. And while the rear-facing camera is a big step up from the previous model’s laughable 2mp one, it still leaves much to be desired. For one thing, there’s no LED flash, so when I need to take pictures of my genitals in poorly-lit areas (as is often the case), the pictures tend to come out grainy and underexposed.

These are generally minor complaints, however, and with its high overall quality and reasonable starting price of $499 for a wifi-only version, I highly recommend the new iPad as the perfect device for anyone looking to take lots and lots of pictures of their junk.

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