In what the Inter-Fraternity Council (IFC) President Nick Silver calls “an effort to more accurately portray the true personality of fraternities at Stanford,” the IFC has declared that the Greek recruiting period at Stanford be called “chill” instead of “rush.”

“The word ‘rush’ implies a certain hurriedness that just isn’t representative of frat life,” said Silver, as he adjusted the collar on the polo he was wearing under his bro tank, “it implies that you don’t have time to pop open a Coors Light with your bros and shotgun it as fast as you can. It implies that you don’t have time to play a relaxed game of sloshball because you have to do something more important, like finish a paper or tutor underprivileged children. On the other hand, using ‘chill’ simply advertises Frat Life better. A bro would shotgun that beer. A bro would save that paper until last minute. A bro would chill, not rush.”

In response to the IFC’s change, the Inter-Sorority Council has changed the name of their recruitment process to “OMG I love your dress, let’s take pictures” in order to more accurately portray their offerings.

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