Axl Lee, a Stanford senior and certified “ninja rockstar,” truly believed that his resume was top-notch. He had trained for twelve years under Japan’s Premier Ninja Master, Shogun Kazuato, and had formed a small business manufacturing ninja stars for teenage American tourists. Following his illustrious ninja career, Lee took up the guitar and released his debut album, which included the international #1 hit, “Go Go Pikachu.” After his lucrative world tour, Lee arrived at Stanford to hop in fountains and pursue a degree in English.

But now, despite his clear prowess as a ninja rockstar, which according to famed blog site TechCrunch is the “most sought-after archetype of a graduating college student,” Lee is struggling to find a job.

“I have tons of coding experience,” said Lee, as he floated effortlessly through the air with his guitar-katana, “I’ve taken CS 105. I even went to CS 106A when Zuckerberg showed up. And I’m the best ninja rockstar out there. I just don’t get it.”

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