In an effort to deter further activities of criminal trespassing, the ASSU Speakers’ Bureau has invited Antoine Dodson to speak at Cubberly Auditorium next Tuesday.

Known nationally for his expertise on criminality, focusing on discouraging criminals from being “so dumb,” and rallying law-abiding citizens around the anthem “we gon’ find you,” Antoine Dodson’s presence shows the University’s hard line on the recent criminal activity.
Representatives from the Speakers’ Bureau have indicated that Mr.
Dodson plans to continue to push his rhetoric which traditionally empowers and protects would-be victims by delivering them highly relevant information and evidence.

Said Antoine Dodson, “I’m not sure why everyone keeps telling me to hide my wife and kids.
I’ll be speaking at Stanford University about the evolving portrayal of criminality presented in the modern viral media environment.”

You May Also Like

Mattel Accidentally Releases American Girl Doll from Timeline Where Assassination of Archduke Ferdinand Never Happened

Quietly swearing under his breath, Mattel chairman and CEO Ynon Kreiz realized…

Sailing Team Bribery Scandal Actually Cover Up for Black Market Organ Operation

Thanks to an anonymous tipster known only by the initials MTL, the…

Report: Local Satire Paper Missed Major Sporting Event

Surprising absolutely no one, the Flipside staff has managed for two weeks…