After years of unsuccessful experimentation, famed golfer and budding toiletry entrepreneur Arnold Palmer teamed up with Target and awed audiences worldwide with the introduction of his newest product, The Real Life Shower Caddy.

“I was just standing in the shower one day, and that’s when it hit me,” Palmer said. “What is it that every good golfer needs? A caddy! And why should the shower be any different?”

This revolutionary new product, which is sure to be a staple in every American household by the holidays, is available in three different shades of argyle, with the consumer’s choice of a Nike hat or a driver’s cap.

Manufacturers were originally worried their product would go against the 13th amendment, which prohibits the buying and selling of people, but quickly found a loophole. “All we have to do is tip them,” stated Palmer. “So just keep a roll of quarters in the shower with you, and you should be fine…at least that’s how I’ve always done it.”

“This product really has quite a lot of great features,” commented Target spokesperson Will Ingram. “Let’s say you’re taking a shower before going out. The caddy performs the same services he would on the field: you get tips on what shampoo to use, advice on the most alluring body wash and he’ll even wash your balls.”

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