STANFORD, CA—Six days ahead of schedule, the Office of Undergraduate Admissions released the results for the class of 2014 applicant pool.

buy tizanidine online www.biop.cz/fotky/nahledy/png/tizanidine.html no prescription pharmacy
buy neurontin online hiims.in/heart-disease/assets/img/png/neurontin.html no prescription pharmacy

With 32,022 applicants, Stanford admission rates have gotten more competitive than ever.

buy bactrim online hiims.in/heart-disease/assets/img/png/bactrim.html no prescription pharmacy

Earlier today, Dean of Admissions Richard Shaw announced that the acceptance rate for the class of 2014 was -3.

buy solosec online azpsych.org/favicons/jpg/solosec.html no prescription pharmacy

14%.

“Not only did Stanford not accept any new applicants, we actually had to kick out some of the under-qualified students who are already here,” commented Shaw.

buy vibramycin online www.biop.cz/fotky/nahledy/png/vibramycin.html no prescription pharmacy
buy strattera online hiims.in/heart-disease/assets/img/png/strattera.html no prescription pharmacy

“College these days is tougher than ever, and if we want Stanford to keep its elite status, we can only keep the best.

buy xtandi online azpsych.org/favicons/jpg/xtandi.html no prescription pharmacy

” Other top schools such as Harvard and Princeton boasted admit rates of postive 4.2% and 2.1% respectively.

Among the students kicked out were the entire dorm of Junipero as well as the lower two floors of Mirrielees.

buy zydena online azpsych.org/favicons/jpg/zydena.html no prescription pharmacy

“We will be using those residences to house the really good application essays that we get,” said housing manager Ron Grinwall.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You May Also Like

Freshman Student Struggles to Find TBA Building

Op-Ed: I Had the NASA Internship Where They Make Me the Astronaut, But Then It Got Canceled Because of Coronavirus

Okay, I’m pissed. One month ago, I had this summer all figured…

Brilliant “Le Pen -> Lapin” Pun Wasted On You Anglophone Fucks

Attempts to cover the upcoming French election between center-right banker Emmanuel Macron…