Controversy and outrage about Tuesday morning’s power outage has stricken Stanford’s campus. Students have questioned the reason behind the power failure, but the source of the problem is still unknown.
The Flipside has dug up many different theories about the outage and how it happened. They are listed below.
- A drunk student realized late Monday night he would have a huge hangover the next morning, and thus not be able to attend class. He decided to pull the plug on Stanford’s power to allow him to sleep in.
- An activist decided a 3 Day Weekend to celebrate Martin Luther King was not enough and that students should miss classes on Tuesday to extend the weekend.
- Those same activists wanted to promote “color blindness,” so they turned off the lights.
- Some students theorize that electricity is actually a myth, and that the little men who run on a wheel underground to produce energy just went on strike.
- An Enrique Iglesias hating student just wanted to “Turn Off The Lights.”
- Somebody broke the “Easy Button” under the quad. Luckily they got a new one soon after.
- Some angry freshmen were tired of the University’s rhetoric and turned off the PWR.
- Some dumb ass in Trancos decided to turn off five lights at once. Really, Trancos? Really? After what you did on ski trip? Really?
- Students got wasted and used up the campuses electricity during really intense Power Hour.
- The power outage solved by philosophy student’s “will to power.”
- Stanford decided to try switching to renewable energy sources, and failed.
- Stanford staged the power outage to test it’s emergency alert system. Result: Yes, it’s really annoying. Now let me go back to sleep.
- The Power “came out” of the closet.
- Stanford just ran out.
- One of the Power Rangers turned evil and decided to strike Stanford with his Megazord!
- Stanford finally realized The Dish doesn’t actually do anything.
- Stanford was counting on hydro-electricity from Lake Lag, but it’s been dry too long.
Any more theories? Send them to firstname.lastname@example.org