Stanford University is hoping to make impressive headway on the diversity front with a new plan to reach out to its most neglected minority: babes. The initiative centers around an affirmative action program that will ease admission requirements for babes and entice them with generous financial aid packages.

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“This is an important step for us in crafting a diverse student population and reaching out to demographics that have been historically underrepresented at Stanford,” proclaimed Dean of Admissions Richard Shaw.

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“Our attitude used to be, ‘Let the babes come to us.’ Those days are over—we’re going to be extremely proactive from now on.

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The construction of a community center for babes is also in the works. Previously, the babes of Stanford University were resigned to a life of quiet suffering in the Cowell Cluster. “I’m really excited about finally having a place where I can feel comfortable on campus,” said a babe who wished to remain anonymous.

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“The Babe Community Center will provide a great space for us to gather, and babe-affiliated student groups will finally have a place to meet.

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” The babe community and its supporters have applauded these measures, which will bring Stanford up to speed with more progressive institutions like University of Arizona and Loyola Marymount University.

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