WASHINGTON, D.C—In a historic move keeping with campaign practices and marking the growth of electronic communication, President Elect Barack Obama has announced the creation of a new Department of Spam, to be headed by David Plouffe.
Plouffe is known for his unremitting emails to supporters, sometimes numbering in the tens per week, asking for donations and forwarding video clips of ads and campaign speeches.
“I have great confidence in David,” said Obama at a press conference announcing the decision. “He has shown time and again that he is has the shamelessness and persistence to spam millions of Americans many times a day, breaking through even the toughest spam filters.”
On the Hill, where the appointment will have to be confirmed by the Senate, some lawmakers questioned the decision and pick.
“I’ve been on the Hill for years fighting pork projects and the President Elect has the gall to create a department of spam?” said Senator John McCain, notoriously computer illiterate, who believed at first the department had something to do with the canned meat product Spam. “What’s next, ambassador to Hillshire Farms and a Department of Bacos?”
The new department will be responsible for sending superfluous emails to Americans. “David’s role will change very little from the campaign,” said Obama. “Our first action will be to spam the country about a drawing we’re having for new contributors,” said Obama. “The winner will get to pet our new puppy.”
“The American people can rest assured: just because their retirement accounts are empty, doesn’t mean their inboxes have to be,” said Plouffe. “I look forward to continuing to work with President Elect Obama on the important task of filling your inbox with crap.”