246 Headlines Life Year 9 Freshmen Unsure What RAs Meant By Saying “Knives Allowed” For Upcoming Nerf War Jeffery SquidOctober 24, 2016
245 Articles By Year Life Stanford Year 9 Student Wondering If Ceiling Fan Rotating Fast Enough To Decapitate TA Gazing idly at the rotating blades whirring above the whiteboard at the end… Jeffery SquidOctober 19, 2016
Quote of the Week 10/17/16 “For this, too, I will be stoked.” – Frat star, performing soliloquy Jeffery SquidOctober 17, 2016
244 Articles Entertainment Local Year 9 New A Capella Group Just Absolute Dogshit Comparing their sound to that of “a great ape bellowing in pain,”… Jeffery SquidOctober 12, 2016
244 Environment Headlines Idiot Freshman Thinks Tap Water Safe to Drink Jeffery SquidOctober 10, 2016
238 Articles By Year Environment Life Stanford Topic Year 8 Railing Gets Thrill Out Of Hot, Sweaty Hands All Over It Vibrating intensely with anticipation, a stairway railing in Huang Engineering Center reportedly… Jeffery SquidMay 16, 2016
Quote of the Week 5/2/16 “A dog? Why, that’s just another mouth to feed!” – A father… Jeffery SquidMay 4, 2016
234 Articles By Year Stanford Topic Year 8 “WOOOOOO!” Cries Fraternity Brother in Fit of Existential Rage Lamenting his declining grades, superficial friendships, and unfulfilled sexual desires, Beta Phi… Jeffery SquidApril 18, 2016
229 By Year Headlines Year 8 Incompetent Freshman Manages to Secure Only One Free Meal From Parents Jeffery SquidFebruary 29, 2016
225 Business Headlines Year 8 Front Pocket Holds One Pen, Two Pens Tops Jeffery SquidFebruary 1, 2016
