Experts Suggest ‘Alternative Facts’ Fad Will Soon Give Way To ‘Indie Facts’

February 7, 2017 12:00 pm
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Experts Suggest ‘Alternative Facts’ Fad Will Soon Give Way To ‘Indie Facts’

After much controversy surrounding the Trump administration’s embracement of ‘alternative facts’, sociologists at Stanford have concluded that this new troubling fad will eventually give way to ‘indie facts’, which will generally be much more interesting and pleasant. Although alternative facts are all the rage right now, experts have concluded that they will soon become indistinguishable from regular old mainstream facts, and that this in turn will cause an uptick in popularity in indie facts.

Alternative facts can be loud, abrasive, and less good-looking than mainstream facts. Still, they have an overwhelming tendency to all conform to the same vaguely anti-establishment world view, which experts have agreed will result in the longterm fatigue of the brand. Alternative facts will have to compete for superiority with hip-hop facts, and although it is unclear which will win outright, alternative facts have a relatively small window before they are upstaged by slicker, more experimental indie facts.

“We’ve already seen how people switch seemingly overnight over to alternative facts,” said Professor Bill Mcreedy. “They start dressing differently, they get in fights with their friends, buy guns, join the AARP, and stop caring about all the things that they used to like. We envision that the shift over to indie facts will take place in a similar manner.”

At this point in time, observers are primarily concerned with the possible emergence of nu-facts, which would just be unmitigated shit.

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