A promising night of nostalgic revelry was brought to an abrupt end last Thursday when students in the Arroyo dormitory mistook a group of Stanford police officers for partygoers at the dorm’s annual “Dorm Storm” festivities.

“The night started like all the other Dorm Storms I heard about,” resident Joseph Hill explained.  “First, the sophomores who lived here last year rolled up and started pounding on the door with a bunch of kegs and handles.  Then, a group of cops rolled up and started banging on the door, as well.  How were we supposed to know what was going on?  It just looked like they wanted to have a good time.  They even had these spray cans that were probably filled with silly string.”

After admitting the law enforcement officials to the party, things took a turn for the ambiguous.

“They started sweeping their flashlights all around the room, so I thought they were trying to create a laser-y, rave-type atmosphere,” Jamie Dobbs recounted timidly.  “Then someone yelled out ‘SHOTS,’ and all the policemen drew their guns.  I think that’s when they started handcuffing people up against the ping-pong table.  It was all a bit too kinky for me.  I got the hell out of there.”

Reports indicate that many Arroyo freshmen tried to make their one phone call from prison, but telephone communication had been knocked out by the absurd number of SU Alerts that the incident had prompted.

You May Also Like

Inspired by Flappy Bird, Nintendo Erases Itself From History

Following Dong Nguyen’s bewildering decision to delete the hit game “Flappy Bird”…

Crack Team of Eleven Men Led by George Clooney Only Group That Can Stop Trump

As business magnate Donald Trump’s ascent to the Republican nomination comes to…

Stanford Groups Table in White Plaza

Click to Launch the Activities Fair Slideshow! WHITE PLAZA–Last Friday, Stanford students…

Area Gym Teacher Not Here to Fuck Around

While the whiny squirts of Mrs. Pinkerton’s second grade class must have…