After 30 Years, DNA Testing Frees Colonel Mustard

BILLIARD ROOM–Colonel Mustard will walk free today after being wrongly imprisoned for…

Stanford Unveils Rhetoric of FOX News For Winter Quarter

In an apparent move to cut costs, the Stanford PWR program has…

Bloomberg Accomplishes Impossible — Uses Billions of Dollars to Defeat Unknown

Stanford Opens White Men’s Community Center

After fighting for years, white males will no longer be the only…

Guy Dressed Up as Obama Totally Unqualified to Win Costume Contest

Southwest Makes Fat People Purchase Two Seats; Not Next To Each Other

US Doesn’t Pull Out of Iraq; Iraq Now Pregnant

Pregnancy tests on Iraq returned positive today, confirming suspicions held by many…

Student Wins Boothe Prize Three Days Before Paper Due

STANFORD, CA—Taking a cue from the Nobel Prize Committee, the Stanford Writing…

U.S. Lays Off Congress To Cut Costs

WASHINGTON, D.C.—U.S.A., Inc. President and CEO Barack Obama announced yesterday that, due…