Supreme Court Hopes to Serve More Poetic Justice

February 22, 2009 9:30 pm
Supreme Court Hopes to Serve More Poetic Justice

By Gideon Constable WASHINGTON, D.C—After many groundbreaking, obscurely worded, and contested decisions, the United States Supreme Court under Chief Justice John Roberts has decided unanimously to serve much more poetic justice than it has in the past. “We just want our decisions to have that sort of feel, that when […]

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GRAPHIC: What Are We Doing On Our Computers During Lecture?

9:28 pm
GRAPHIC: What Are We Doing On Our Computers During Lecture?
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Asshole Student Hates Everyone, Blames It On The Weather

9:26 pm
Asshole Student Hates Everyone, Blames It On The Weather

This past Monday, a rather unfortunate smattering of events occurred circling around one undergraduate student, Morris Jones. Morris who typically awakes to 106.6 The Goat, instead arose to high pitch chirping, and it all went downhill from there. “I hadn’t left my room since the night before when I had […]

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Wind, Rain, Sleet, and RA’s Break Up Donner Party

9:25 pm
Wind, Rain, Sleet, and RA’s Break Up Donner Party
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Vaden Adopts “Laughter Is The Best Medicine” Policy

9:24 pm
Vaden Adopts “Laughter Is The Best Medicine” Policy
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Students For a Sustainable Stanford Search For a Way To Recycle Wasted Time

9:22 pm
Students For a Sustainable Stanford Search For a Way To Recycle Wasted Time
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Obama Rebukes African Leaders for Lack of African Americans in Africa

February 16, 2009 5:21 pm
Obama Rebukes African Leaders for Lack of African Americans in Africa

While the United States celebrates the inauguration of its first African American president, signifying a break from hundreds of years of racism, segregation, and slavery, many are concerned that other countries in the world will never be able to accomplish the same. A recent study has shown that there are […]

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HE FINALLY DID IT! : Local Man Sets New Personal High Score In Minesweeper

5:19 pm
HE FINALLY DID IT! : Local Man Sets New Personal High Score In Minesweeper

By Stanley Waters After spending what seemed like countless hours in front of his computer, local man Benjamin Alder managed to accomplish what many people thought was impossible. Last Thursday, at 2:33 AM, Alder successfully completed the “Expert” level of Minesweeper in 122 seconds, besting his previous high score by […]

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Student Wakes Up On Tuesday, Thinks It’s Wednesday

5:18 pm
Student Wakes Up On Tuesday, Thinks It’s Wednesday
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Dog Found Mimicking Owner: Walks On Two Legs, Uses Toilet, Acts Like a Huge Bitch

5:16 pm
Dog Found Mimicking Owner: Walks On Two Legs, Uses Toilet, Acts Like a Huge Bitch
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