Articles by: Stu Melton

V-Week Activists Protest Labeling Women as Ro-“Ho’s”

April 25, 2014 9:00 amComments Off on V-Week Activists Protest Labeling Women as Ro-“Ho’s”
V-Week Activists Protest Labeling Women as Ro-“Ho’s”

FroSoCo. MemChu. HooTow. Stanford students have been shortening one word, shortening another, and putting them together for years. The linguistic phenomenon not only epitomizes students’ efficiency (saving them hours of cumulative talking time), it also sounds cool. Sometimes a third part of a word will join and the party gets […]

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Arch Bishop Worships Entryway

February 10, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Arch Bishop Worships Entryway
Arch Bishop Worships Entryway
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Poor Guy Convinces Himself he is Popular with Authentication Codes

January 17, 2014 9:00 amComments Off on Poor Guy Convinces Himself he is Popular with Authentication Codes
Poor Guy Convinces Himself he is Popular with Authentication Codes

Carl Who Sits in his Room Alone recently realized the power of Stanford Authorization codes. After discovering the option to receive SMS messages on his mobile device, Carl Who Sits in his Room Alone now takes full advantage of this seemingly inconvenient system. Rather than becoming frustrated with his inability […]

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Stanford Student has Seen Bigger Games

November 19, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on Stanford Student has Seen Bigger Games
Stanford Student has Seen Bigger Games
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Op Ed: Corn is Very Useful

November 12, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on Op Ed: Corn is Very Useful
Op Ed: Corn is Very Useful

Corn can be used for many things. Corn is tasty as a food for people. It is also tasty for animals that are not humans, such as cows or pigs. Corn can be used as an alternate fuel source. It can be used as an alternate fuel source if your […]

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Motivational Audiobook Inspires a Man

April 11, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on Motivational Audiobook Inspires a Man
Motivational Audiobook Inspires a Man

Jenny Cartwright, the author and voice behind the audiobook, 59 Ways to Find Success…and Some Loose Change, knew her work would help millions. But what she never could have anticipated was the effect it would have on one particular Iowa native, John Galloway. “The cover of the audiobook was so…magnetic […]

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“Not” Jokes Making a Comeback…NOT!

March 4, 2013 12:01 pmComments Off on “Not” Jokes Making a Comeback…NOT!
“Not” Jokes Making a Comeback…NOT!
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Tuesday in Depressive State After Being Called “Fat”

February 20, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on Tuesday in Depressive State After Being Called “Fat”
Tuesday in Depressive State After Being Called “Fat”

Let’s not sugarcoat this: Tuesday has always been on the chunky side. Chubby? Yeah. Plump? Sure. But out and out fat? That’s just rude. And saying it in French just makes it that much snobbier: “Mardi gras.” At a certain point, we really need to censor our comments about weight. […]

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Letter to the Editor of the Badger Herald: Wisconsin’s Conformist Marching Band

January 16, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on Letter to the Editor of the Badger Herald: Wisconsin’s Conformist Marching Band
Letter to the Editor of the Badger Herald: Wisconsin’s Conformist Marching Band

(in response to the Op Ed by John E. in the Daily) My only objection to the entirety of the Tournament of Roses concerns the actions of the University of Wisconsin band. The marching band was completely “professional” and farcical. The band-members’ lack of emotion was despicable and their passionless […]

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Opinion: White Plaza Sax Man Has Real Name

November 29, 2012 9:00 amComments Off on Opinion: White Plaza Sax Man Has Real Name
Opinion: White Plaza Sax Man Has Real Name

What’s in a name?  Letters, mostly.  But together, those letters make sounds, which in turn represent a person’s identity.  And, even through all the resistance, I strongly feel that we all have this thing that is called a name.  Yes, even the Sax Man. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not […]

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