Early last week, the famed prediction machine Paul the octopus died.

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Paul, who perfectly predicted the results of the 2010 World Cup and was 12/14 lifetime, was an octopus of many talents and accomplishments. A major promoter of tentacle erotica in his early school days, Paul had quite a wild side.

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As a dear friend said, “He was one crazy fuckin’ octopus.

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” Paul mellowed as he aged, finding great pleasure in going for long swims in the tank and snacking on mussels.

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The entire cephalopod community rallied together around Paul’s death. Even President Obama attended his cremation, during which he was movingly described as “not having a single bad bone in his body.

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