9/24/10 North Quad Phase II Housing images.

Lucie Stern Residence Hall – Gleefully exclaiming that he can see the beginning of a beautiful friendship, Donner freshman Michael Levin reported Friday that he is” really hitting it off” with second floor RA Tristan Snow (MCS ‘18), whose job responsibilities explicitly include befriending the Freshmen under his purview.

“At first,” Levin explained, “the other kids I met on my floor and at parties didn’t seem interested in my sweet Nickelback jokes or my antique button collection. But Tristan would always come by my room to talk to me when I was alone, and he even stays in and plans fun activities for us to do together on the weekend!” Thus, with his floor mates now spending less time in the dorm, branching out into new friend groups, and getting involved with new clubs, Michael has remained content to nourish a relationship with a university staff member explicitly instructed to like him.

“I really feel like Tristan is teaching me what a true friend is,” Michael lightheartedly reflected, “he always leaves his door open, and even made a special effort to help me when I ate a brownie left lying out at EBF and my head felt weird.”

At press time, Tristan reported that he is “committed to meeting the responsibilities lain out his his contract,” lest he “get in some shit with his RF.”

You May Also Like

Quote of the Week 2/20

“Do you know who I am?” – Shithead, or guy with amnesia…

Report: Terrorist Abdulmutallab “Was Never Good at Chemistry”



        Weeks after Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab failed to ignite an explosive on…

Bored Student Calculates Proportion of Stats Lecture Remaining

Human Remains Discovered In South Stacks

Michelle Stanton thought it would be a normal trip to the library.…