Hello, I am Dr. Thomas M. Wooley, I am a retired lecturer at Stanford and I am currently working on research work. I am looking for an assistant to earn in the range of 35$ weekly. You can work from Home or School. The hours are very flexible.
The pay might not be as high as you might expect but you can feel free to use the tea supplies in the break room while you’re working, and during Holiday seasons we even bring in treats like Christmas cookies for people to snack on.
But it’s not really about the pay anyways. This position will be really good for your CV. You probably won’t be acknowledged in any papers we publish but we’ll get your name out there by putting you on our department website. There we also like to put up a photo of you and a short bio to document your enthusiasm for posterity.
Getting a job like this is actually really important for getting into Grad School because it shows you have experience reading handwriting from the 18th century and inputting it into Excel. Being fluent in Microsoft Office and coding will be a must-have skill for landing a job in this New Economy so we like to think we’re preparing you for the job market after Grad School too.
Even just going to Grad School is really a good thing because when you make it to that point you get to choose what tea they stock in the break room because you’ll be the one going to the store to buy it, so if you like Yogi tea better than Lipton, you can make that call.. We also have a little extra money in the budget so if you want to buy some Agave Nectar instead of honey, go for it!
Once you become a grad student we will also treat you with a little more respect and reverence. For example, at that point in your life you’ll probably have a harder time finding food so during the holidays we will let you take home leftover xmas cookies.
You will be working 30-40 hours a week but it’s flexible, we can schedule around your other commitments and really you have no other option if you want to continue living the life of the mind. You can contact me at my professional email: firstname.lastname@example.org or through Whatsapp +91 22 3819 5881 at your earliest convenience.
Dr. Thomas M. Wooley