Junior Has Been Stealing Books from Green for Years, Just for the Rush

February 19, 2019 7:00 pm
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Junior Has Been Stealing Books from Green for Years, Just for the Rush

Stanford Junior Timothy Lewis revealed to the Flipside that he has stolen between three to four thousand books from Cecil H. Green Library since his first day at the university — just for that sweet, sweet endorphin rush.

Whether it be the Bender Room, Lane or just a misfit bookshelf stocked with Iberian Film Analyses, Lewis has stolen books from just about every corner of the famed library. The Flipside followed him as he traversed the West Stacks, eyes-wide, chasing the grimiest and most ancient novels to throw into his sports bag. Usually the librarian — or “Book Sentinel” as Lewis calls them — will only take a cursory glance in the large pouch of his backpack, but he’ll hide those four hundred year-old masterpieces under his sweaty basketball shorts just in case.

Lewis recounted his favorite memory with a nostalgic smile, “Oh yes — the 1976 Arizona Census from the Johnson Government Collection. I stealthily bagged that one, hiding it in my ‘computer case’ — Kryptonite for any trained Book Sentinel. I ran out onto Meyer Green, my body completely overcome with the hope and promise of a better world for myself and my tomes. I rode that high for about four hours, frolicking in ecstatic bliss. You’ve gotta try it sometime.” What does he do with the books? Sometimes he puts them back where he found them only to steal them again —just to taste that juicy rush one more time.

“It got so thrilling I began to move beyond books. You wouldn’t believe the thing’s you can find in Green! The Sentinel will always check for stolen books, but they’ll rarely spare a second glance for the kilo of cocaine or the severed limbs shoved deep into the crumby recesses of my backpack. And I’m not addicted” he told the Flipside defiantly, “I can stop at any time. Besides, it can’t be half as horrible as eating in the dining hall without swiping.”

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