1. Thanos Kills My Dad

“Infinity War” had a lot going on, so it’s hard for me to remember every scene. But one in particular is still burned in my brain — when archvillain Thanos stopped his climactic fight with the Avengers halfway through just so he could teleport to my dad’s accounting firm and karate-chop him in the throat.

buy sinequan online http://crosbytonclinichospital.com/images/jpg/sinequan.html no prescription pharmacy

Thanos didn’t even need to use the magical powers of the Infinity Gauntlet to finish my dad off — the Mad Titan’s brutal knife-hand technique was powerful enough on it’s own to separate my father’s head from his body, sending him to an early grave.

buy naprosyn online http://crosbytonclinichospital.com/images/jpg/naprosyn.html no prescription pharmacy

This one was… tough to watch, but memorable.

buy cipro online http://crosbytonclinichospital.com/images/jpg/cipro.html no prescription pharmacy

2. Iron Man Blasts My Dad to Bits

I thought the death scenes could only be less intense after Thanos murdered my father in cold blood, but I had no clue what would happen next: Thanos used the magical Soul Stone to bring my dad back to life as an act of mercy, only for Iron Man to yell “No, he was better off dead” before firing a barrage of laser blasts through my father’s torso, perforating multiple arteries and organs. It only added insult to injury that Star-Lord and Doctor Strange watched the whole thing happen and then high-fived.

3. Thor Slips Rat Poison Into My Dad’s Morning Oats

Midway through the movie, the directors made the bizarre decision to cut to a title card reading “1977” and then show a scene of my father, age 14, sitting at a breakfast table in his childhood home and eating a bowl of oatmeal. Thor then appeared out of nowhere, dumped a bag of greyish powder into the oats, and walked out of the kitchen. Inexplicably, my dad didn’t see the God of Thunder, and — after taking a big bite of oats — fell to the ground in a fit of convulsions before dying. The movie never attempted to explain how this fit into the larger plotline, and I won’t pretend it doesn’t feel like a personal slight on me and my family.

4. Hulk Punches My Dad’s Dick Through His Brain

Uncalled for and crude. A horrible first scene to start the movie with.

You May Also Like

Stanford Construction Update

After this week’s grand opening of the Arillaga Family Dining Commons, it…

Ralph Castro Just Needs a Drink

After the record number of alcohol transports this fall and the complete…

Student Overpaid on Qualtrics Survey

Last Thursday, an administrative glitch resulted in University researchers greatly over compensating…

Quote of the Week 5/30/16

“Hulk Hogan, we meet at last.” – Peter Thiel