Shit me to hell… another mediocre artist has just released a bullshit project built around the Disney princesses, this time with the half-baked conceit of depicting each one as a different variety of grain.

Jesus shitting fuck, let’s just get this over with.

Belle

Belle is originally from Beauty and the Beast, but here, she’s a handful of rye seeds. Is this… is this supposed to be political? I legitimately want to understand the thought process that led to this existing.

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Ariel

The little mermaid has red hair, right? Right? So when the artist labeled this bowl of finger millet “Princess Ariel,” at least there was some thought put into it.

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But honestly, that sort of makes it even sadder, right?

Merida

This is the one with the bow and arrows, right? But isn’t that a Pixar film? Like, it’s not even the same animation style, you know?

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Anyways, barley.

Mulan

Uhhh… this is Mulan, and here, she’s emmer. Which is evidently a type of grain, I guess?

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I dunno, who gives a flying fuck.

Spelt

I accidentally wrote spelt, the grain, instead of Tiana, the princess. But at this point, who is even reading?

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Like, legitimately, what was the intended audience of this project?

Cinderella

I have a journalism degree from Northwestern. A fucking masters. Fuck.

Aurora

Shit me to death, I want to die.

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