Administration Postpones FMOTQ To January 32nd, Hopes Students Won’t Notice

January 10, 2017 12:00 pm
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In an email sent out to the student body late Monday night, university administration announced they have made the decision to postpone Full Moon on the Quad to a later date once again, specifically January 32nd. This announcement comes after administration’s initial delay of the annual tradition from its customary timing in October to the first week of winter quarter.

In an attempt to eliminate backlash from students, university officials have instead chosen to quietly move the approaching event to January 32nd.

“We sincerely think that this move is in the best interest for students, as well as the university’s reputation. We understand many students do not want the event canceled, and we believe that we have reached a suitable compromise with this timing shift,” the email coming from the Student Affairs Office stated.

When asked for the reasoning behind the last-minute date change, administrators laughed nervously.

“No reason, this date simply works better for the university. Why? Wait, did anyone say something bad about the date? Who?” Vice Provost for Student Affairs Greg Boardman said.

As of press time, university officials have continued to act as if the shifted date is completely normal, and are promoting the event as usual.

“Mark your calendars! Or actually on second thought, don’t look at a calendar, just trust us,” Boardman said.