STANFORD – Professor Mitchell Eisenberg is one of the world’s top experts in neural networks, but he’s so much more than a brilliant computer scientist.

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He founded a startup that teaches computer science to impoverished youths. He’s an expert on 20th century American history.

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And he’s about to get nailed in the face by a football.

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Just last year, Eisenberg received the Turing award for his outstanding contributions to the field of computer science.

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He missed the ceremony, though, because he was too busy playing recreational basketball with underprivileged children in his community. He is a known community leader.

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His students see him as an inspiring older brother, his peers see him as a genius, and a football sees his face as a place it’s about to hit really hard.

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“The thing you have to understand about computers,” Eisenberg says, as a football thrown by a careless fraternity brother hurtles inexorably through the sky in his direction, “is that you can do anything you want with them. A computer is a calculator, but it’s also an easel, a canvas, a WOOAAH OWW!!”

As of press time Eisenberg was slowly turning his head with a big dumb look on his face.

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