This is it, Class of Fif-TEEN! You haven’t heard that one in a while, but prepare yourselves for the ritualized shouting one last time. Welcome to the final stretch of ceremonies, festivities, and trying to decide if you’re going to keep the comforter you threw up on during Sophomore year. Get ready for the real world, for adulthood, and for doing your taxes without mommy’s help.

We at the Flipside want to impart one last message to the student body: please, stay young. Get excited about things. Fan-girl when you want to. Watch Frozen all by yourself and don’t be afraid to sing along. Double-dutch with the kids at the playground and show them how it’s done. Embrace emotion. Throw temper tantrums and lose control of your bodily functions.

Wait, no. Let’s not do that. Maybe it’s time to just be old. Have a hot toddy and stay in on a Saturday night. Chew your food for a really long time–not because you have to; you’re savoring it. Ride one of those cool scooters around the shuffleboard deck on a senior cruise. Go on rants and lose control of your bodily functions.

I guess what we’re suggesting is, do both. Keep up that youthful spirit, but don’t be afraid to nap if you need to. Buy that ergonomic mattress, but make sure you get a few good jumping sessions in. Let’s age in moderation.

It has been our honor to speak to you every week about things that matter to us, like poop and politics. We hope that you thought a little and laughed a lot. Thanks for reading!

-The Flipside Seniors

You May Also Like

This is the MOST Sarcaaaastic Article EVER Written, Maybe

This is the veeeery best most amaaaaazing article you’ve ever read in…

Tupac Hologram Murdered on Las Vegas Strip

After stunning crowds at the Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival with…

Breaking: Interior Designers May Have Been Among Capitol Rioters in Hopes of Breaking In, Redecorating

According to inside sources, interior designer Michelle Lin and a rowdy collection…

ASSU Election Proceeds Smoothly, Without Drama

Stanford sources are pleased to report that last week’s election proceeded unusually…