Los Angeles, CA — Psychologists and anthropologists remain baffled by a study conducted last year which found a hugely disproportionate average penis size present in the pathological liar population. While previous penile research has suggested an American average around 5.5 inches, the surveys targeted towards the liar population found an average of 11.3 inches, over double the average of the control population.

“We have no idea what could be causing this; it’s still a very active area of research,” asserted Dr. James Crimbin, a urologist at the UCLA school of medicine, “right now, our best idea is that some in utero-hormone responsible for larger than average penises might affect the development of pathological lying tendencies later in life. We’re also exploring possible genetic links between the two.”

Further results found that this segment of the population was much more likely to face sex- related difficulties. Over 45% of the survey population reported that they are unable to use condoms because all condoms are simply too small for them, and over 50% of the participants reported having partners unable to walk after sex.

As of press time, doctors and psychologists are focusing on uncovering an explanation for this anomaly before tackling other anomalies found in this same population, such as disproportionately high alcohol tolerance and ability to bench-press.

 

You May Also Like

New ASSU Senators Pledge to Address Widening Gap Between Lower and Upper Classmen

As one of their first official duties in office, Stanford’s newly-minted ASSU…

Disappointing Chelsea Performance Only Matched By My Disappointment With My Ex-Girlfriend, Chelsea

Saturday, Chelsea suffered a humiliating defeat against Premier League rivals Arsenal, giving…

University Physicists Strategically Plan First Full Moon To Be Day Before Midterm

VARIAN BUILDING–After hours upon hours of equations and tinkering with nature, the…

Lost Constitutional Amendments Found in Boston Time Capsule

This week was one of fervent anticipation all across America, as experts…