Campus Satire Publication Changes Website the Day After Telling Reporter Otherwise

Freshman Daily reporter Stephanie Loon was disgraced after the members of the editorial board of a Stanford satire pamphlet fed her false information that was published under her name.

Fewer than 48 hours after asserting that “we don’t really like to touch the website any more than is necessary” and “the people that graduated are kind of like CS geniuses, so we definitely can’t do anything better than they can,” the board changed the website’s masthead and format.

“Initially we were pretty impressed with [Loon’s] work, but in light of this terrible reporting, it’s unlikely she will be invited to write for us again,” said Freddy Thai, a desk editor for the Stanford Daily.

The editorial board betrayed Loon after she spent hours fighting to include the quote “’cause fuck Numbers” in the article. Loon even managed to get the statement approved by the managing news editor, although it was eventually shot down by the Daily’s executive editor before publication.

“Why would [the editorial board] be so heartless?” Loon’s roommate, Jana Dole, wondered. “Especially after [Loon] worked so hard to defend them.”

Loon passive-aggressively declined to comment.