In a surprising new development, John Arrillaga has announced plans to build a new $88 million “Arrillaga Tower” on West Campus. The design, released over the weekend, calls for a tower nearly identical to Stanford’s iconic Hoover Tower, albeit with much taller and heavier doors, big-screen TVs and the Arrillaga name.

President Hennessy admitted that he was initially “very surprised” by Arrillaga’s gift. “This university has many needs – more professors, waffle machines with the Stanford ‘S’ on them, new classrooms, an endowment for financial aid, real ice cream in all of the dining halls… the list goes on,” said Hennessy. “But after chatting with John Arrillaga, I’ve come to see the importance of this project. I too share his vision for another combination observation platform, bell tower, and library on campus.”

Construction on Arrillaga Tower is scheduled to begin as soon as construction is completed on new recreation centers on Roble Field and at SLAC. Hennessy admitted that the delay was less-than-ideal, but attributed the hold up to Arrillaga’s “limited computer literacy,” or in other words, the fact that he’s still getting the hang of copy-paste on his new Macbook.

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