On Tuesday, SCN announced that it would be bringing Indie sensation Mmmmphsphlts to campus for its one and only spring concert. Lead guitarist B’tterfly Deth once described their sound as “Grunge meets folk meets disco-slash-surf rock, plus, you know, a lot of screaming.” With narrowly-known hits such as “mmaphhhlyyyyyyyn” and “plephhhhhhhhhh,” Mmmmphsphlts is bound to keep out all the sorts of people who don’t belong at SCN concerts.

Said Jon Bitters, director of SCN programming: “OK, look. If students could be trusted to make up their own minds about what artists they wanted to see, then they wouldn’t pay us so much in special fees to make that decision for them, right? Ugh, can you imagine it–Becky buying her own tickets to Britney, Jamie getting a pass to see Mumford and Sons? Awful.”

Mmmmphsphlts first went mainstream-ish last year at Coachella, where they performed on Stage N, a little-known venue located in the bed of B’tterfly Deth’s pickup truck. Nonetheless, of the ten students on campus who have heard of Mmmmphsphlts, eight claim it has sold out.

Indeed, avid concertgoer and recreational drug user Jake Delaurel wishes SCN had chosen a group with a little more authenticity, such as “Palalaphalleeentka,” a band so obscure it only exists in his head. “They almost never fail to disappoint,” he said, before returning to his conversation with a mailbox. “Almost.”

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