By Yanran Hu

After several weeks of writing a column, I have been called “self-righteous masculinist,” “playa,” “pimp,” “thoughtless man-whore” and “shallow,” to which I proudly plead guilty.

You’ve got me pinned; I’m your stereotypical guy who thinks of nothing more than sex (specifically every six seconds, that is), and I’m here to tell you that we’ve been persecuted for far too long.

People may claim this is the age of sexual liberation, where you can go around talking about blowjobs and orgies and bestiality all you want, but I am living proof that this is simply not true. I won’t even tell you what happened the last time I started talking about my forays into bestiality.

We men, when we go out, we are just trying to claim our god-given right to the blowjob. The only thing we ever think about is boobs and vaginas and boobs and asses and vaginas and boobs. Yes, women of the world, you’ve got us figured out.

buy cleocin online thefixaspen.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/png/cleocin.html no prescription pharmacy

Boobs.

All we do is read ESPN magazine to find out about the latest sex positions and drink beer to find enlightenment on the best pick up lines.

online pharmacy purchase ivermectin online with best prices today in the USA

This is our life.

And if you are a man who goes out just to get a simple blowjob every night, only to come back with a hug, I challenge you.

buy hydroxychloroquine online thefixaspen.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/png/hydroxychloroquine.html no prescription pharmacy

I dare you to say no to these Stanford girls who tease you. Traumatizing studies have come out recently, revealing that a majority of Stanford men have been involved in a life-altering tease. Many of these men have never recovered.

online pharmacy purchase rybelsus online with best prices today in the USA

You may think, “This can’t happen to me,” “This is Stanford,” “I’m a nice guy” or other similar thoughts, but I assure you, these teasers walk amongst us.

buy amoxicillin online https://dcsmentalhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/jpg/amoxicillin.html no prescription pharmacy

They may look like your average girl, but trust me, these women are vicious. So BE CAREFUL PLEASE!

To discuss your forays into bestiality, e-mail flipside@stanford.edu.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You May Also Like

Op-Ed: From Now On, if a Friend Shows Me a “Funny Video” and It’s Not Funny, I’m Going to Strangle Them with a Plastic Bag

You’ve had it happen to you, haven’t you? A friend, a comrade,…

Daily Takes Major L (working title)

As an educated, well-read woman of distinguished title whose pedagogical and didactic…

TSA Travel Update

Important notice to all travelers in the United States: In light of…

Haas Center announces Turkey Slaughter Day, a “hands-on experience for service-oriented birdkillers”

In a move aimed to please humanitarians and psychopaths alike, Stanford’s Haas…