Last Saturday, Stanford students celebrated the Winter Olympics by competing in the Beer Olympics.

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Students from all over campus gathered together in Main Quad for a spectacular opening ceremony that included 151 shots lit on fire, representatives from every cultural group on campus, and dance performances by that crazy freshman who was already hammered.

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Following the ceremony, students participated in various beer games modeled after winter sports.

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Students started off with curling, sliding quarters towards a red cup, trying to get them as close to the cup without hitting it.

The most popular event was the biathlon.

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Students raced around Lake Lag, stopping at checkpoints where they had to take various shots, shotgun beers, or bounce quarters into cups.

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If students failed, they had to take a penalty lap.

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“It was gnarly man,” said biathlon participant Lonnie Akridge, “Running the lake gets your heart rate jacked. It makes it so hard to bounce that quarter in the cup.

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Unfortunately, the Ice Luge was cancelled because the large block of ice was deemed unsafe after a student took a practice shot, got too drunk off it, ran into a pole, and went to the hospital. The University took no responsibility for an unsafe ice block, stating it was the student’s error.

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