STANFORD,CA – Stanford has announced that effective immediately, it will drop Tiger Woods from all of its advertisements.  In light of the car crash and the allegations it has brought about, Stanford has joined the ranks of Gillette, Accenture, and Gatorade in dropping Woods.

online pharmacy purchase nolvadex online with best prices today in the USA

 He will no longer be featured in publications designed to lure ambitious high school students to apply or in newsletters designed to suck money from alumni.

online pharmacy purchase super kamagra online with best prices today in the USA

Additionally, Thomas Hennessy, president of the university, requested that Woods no longer wear any Stanford apparel.

 For years, Stanford has bummed free advertising off the golf superstar, but in a statement made yesterday afternoon, President Hennessy explained, “We feel that Mr.

Woods no longer portrays Stanford in a positive light.  Plus, it’s not like he even graduated.”

Stanford will continue to force Sigourney Weaver, the star of Avatar, to wear Stanford Apparel.
Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You May Also Like

Report: Local Satire Paper Missed Major Sporting Event

Surprising absolutely no one, the Flipside staff has managed for two weeks…

Frosh Come to California to Find Moat, Series of Sadistic Obstacles Barring Entry to Campus

Stanford Administration shocked the community last week when President and Gamemaker Marc…

Dr. Fauci Feels Much More Comfortable Walking Around Public Now That He Is Not Being Traced By the Red Dot of a Nearby Army Sniper

In many ways the nation took a big sigh of relief after…