Opinion: Fetuses Don’t Deserve the Right To Vote- Animals Do! Look, man, the neofascist, religious freakout Republicans are calling for the government… Joel CummingsFebruary 8, 2009
In Waning Days of Presidency, Bush Turns Attention to Presidential Library As President Bush prepares to hand over the White House to Barack… Joel CummingsJanuary 18, 2009
Revolutionary Soft Drink Pepsialis to Hit Stores Next Week A collaboration between beverage giant PepsiCo and erectile dysfunction upstart Cialis has… Joel CummingsNovember 30, 2008
President Hennessy Spotted On Campus According to several eyewitnesses, Stanford President John Hennessy was seen walking between… Joel CummingsNovember 16, 2008
America’s Balls Shrink 40% After Obama Victory, GOP’s Worst Fears Confirmed True to the predictions of several conservative pundits and bloggers, electing the… Joel CummingsNovember 8, 2008
Scientist Discovers Disease, Names After Arch-Rival The humble Dr. Timothy Flugin of the Center for Disease Control may… Joel CummingsNovember 1, 2008
ASSU Introduces Joint Resolution in Wake of Latest Squabble After endlessly bickering over a $2800 disaster known as the Welcome Barbecue,… Joel CummingsOctober 25, 2008
“He Licked My Face!” : Overzealous Kisser Terrorizes Freshmen at Full Moon Festivities Joel CummingsOctober 19, 2008
37% of Full Moon Revelers Identify as Both ‘Senior’ and ‘Freshman’ According to exit polls conducted by undercover reporters, 72% of Full Moon… Joel CummingsOctober 19, 2008
