Female college student smiling in front of classroom

At 2 PM this Sunday, Senior Elizabeth Brown was seen saying “we should catch up sometime” to fellow senior Jake Fletcher, even though she didn’t want to actually catch up with him. Brown was walking to class when she encountered Fletcher, and after a brief, conversation, she mentioned the opportunity of getting lunch sometime, even though she really didn’t have time for him.

“Jake was in Otero with me freshman year. During freshman year, we would hang out every once-in-a-while, but definitely not enough for me to care about what he has been doing for the past few years,” said Brown. “I mean, I just don’t see how learning about his internship, relationships, and living situation would improve my life or his in any way.”

Fletcher reciprocated the sentiment: “It was nice of her to say that we should catch up sometime—very cordial! That being said, there’s absolutely no chance I’d sacrifice a meal to actually sit down and talk to her for a half hour.” At press time, Brown and Fletcher were each drinking an extra glass of wine just in case they ran into each other at Senior Night.

You May Also Like

Student Won’t Believe That It Is No Longer Opposite Day

Despite numerous assurances by his exasperated family, peers, and waiters, Stanford freshman…