Findings from a recent Gallup Poll suggest that Republican Presidential Nominee Ron Paul is the clear leader among citizens who refuse to give their personal information to the government.
The poll found that Rep. Paul’s belief in gun rights, desire to limit the federal government, racism and willingness to support batshit conspiracy theories really resonate with these wouldn’t-be voters.
The poll itself was difficult to conduct given than many people in this demographic don’t own phones and so had to be surveyed in person. Said a representative from Gallup, “Among the respondents interviewed in person, Ron Paul was actually only the third most common response behind ‘Get off my property!
’ and ‘Obama is Satan!’ However, we decided to register these as ‘no opinion.’”

This is something of a mixed blessing for Paul and his supporters. In light of this news, the campaign is working on a strategy for mobilizing this demographic centered on convincing them that showing up to a primary won’t result in anyone stealing their guns and/or organs.

You May Also Like

Opinion: My roommate sure loves his music!

My roommate loves his music. Every night like clockwork, it’s on with…

From the Archives: You wouldn’t believe what I saw at Hoover this weekend!

It was never supposed to be like this. He slammed back the…

Contention For Favored Poop Toilet Intensifies As Bathroom Schedules Align

Freshman John Wilkins was on his way to complete his morning ritual,…

Poor, Dumb Bastard Loses Last Remaining Copy of Magna Carta

London, England –British Library curator Andrew Martin, well known in archival social…