Facing accusations of “various club members getting pitchers at Treehouse”, Stanford’s Band announced Monday that it was ready to offer the university’s administration ,000 to resolve the issue quietly with an extrajudicial settlement.

buy cozaar online https://health.newonlineandblo.com/cozaar.html no prescription pharmacy

“We’re just trying to speak their language” commented Band member “Toaster Strudel”, a kitchen sink slung around his neck and a frown on his face. “We hate that it came to this.”

The Band announced that it was additionally willing to become very good at football, win the Intel International Science and Engineering Fair, or have its parents donate a new building to win back Stanford’s favor.

You May Also Like

Op-Ed: Yikes! I Accidentally Joined My Professor’s Divorce Zoom Call and Now I Have to Act Like His Emotionally Traumatized, Estranged Daughter So He Doesn’t Lose His House

Uh oh! When my linguistics professor sent out an email with only…

Stanford’s California Gurls Falsely Advertised

Tony Lucciano, an incoming freshman from New Jersey, came to Stanford hoping…