It isn’t always easy to follow your heart. When Jason Leblanc ‘17, bigot and cup-stacker, came to Stanford last year, he was disappointed by the tolerance and understanding so prevalent on campus. Stanford offered few opportunities for an anti-Semite such as Leblanc to get involved and pursue his discriminatory passions. That’s why when the Stanford out of Occupied Palestine movement started to pick up steam this year, Leblanc didn’t think twice before getting involved.

“Oh no no I don’t care about that,” chuckled Leblanc when asked about the talking points of the Divest movement. “It was never about their words for me, words are for dumb idiots. For me it’s all about how worked up I get when I think about Jewish people having a homeland.” Leblanc further elaborated on things he doesn’t care about, including the genuine grievances of Palestinian civilians and informed debate.

Matt Young, a member of the Divest movement, was less than pleased with Leblanc’s involvement. “Yeah, Jason is the worst. That guy just comes to our meetings and yells ‘I hate the Middle East’ and does a mouth fart and leaves. We wish he had never showed up.”

Although Leblanc admitted that he was “bummed out” by the humanitarian side of the Divest movement, he maintained that the Divestment campaign was the only group at Stanford for a student like him. “They may not be truly intolerant,” he said with a smile, “but at least they want to stick it to Israel.”

As of press time, both sides had came together to agree that Leblanc was a massive dimwit.

You May Also Like

Students Protest the Protesting of WBC Protest

STANFORD, CA– News that the infamous Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) would be…

Stanford Offers Refund of $200 Per Rainy Day

Freshmen from all corners of the world are up in arms over…

Literature Researchers Discover Every Single Novel Is Actually a Subtle Critique of Capitalism

A Stanford postdoctoral research team has released groundbreaking new research in the…