BREAKING NEWS – early this morning, a local man experienced something that, while closely paralleling a very mundane event, differed slightly in some aspects.

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Experts agree that most people who read this news story have probably been through an extremely similar event in the past, and in fact may may even do so on a regular basis.

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But in this instance the commonplace occurrence varied just enough to be absurd.

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When reached for comment, the man who went through the strange variation on an everyday action explained, “If a few things had been different, it would have been utterly unremarkable. But they happened this way instead of that way, and now it is a strange alternative.”

The situation is further complicated as news outlets continue to report this unusual-yet-fairly-quotidien happening as if it were national news, publishing articles recounting it all in absurd detail and interviewing witnesses. One witness said, “I guess it was kind of funny.”

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