In a recent press conference following Stanford football’s upsetting defeat to the Golden Bears, head coach Troy Taylor announced his new strategy moving forward to flip the current season’s script, “gentle parenting our football team into a win.”  According to the coaching staff, gentle parenting seems to be the right approach to initiate change in the program and build towards a win.

Flipside reporters at the press conference asked for clarification from Coach Taylor, where he shared the following: “To us, it’s about building a trusting and loving relationship with our players.  We don’t want to be too hard on them because that scares them and makes them not want to win anymore.  Instead, we’ve decided to be more relaxed with our coaching, and use positive reinforcement as opposed to more punishing tactics.  Touchdown?  High fives, hugs, and forehead kisses.  Fumble, interception, or turnover?  It’s okay, boo, we love you no matter what, and want you to always feel safe and warm on our sideline.  We’re here for you.”

Part of new programming from Coach Taylor involves making practices optional, giving fun Paw Patrol stickers to players as a reward for good plays, and making all players share a ‘rose, bud, thorn’ in the locker room every week.  First aid kids on the sidelines have had their supplies replaced with ‘Dora the Explorer’ themed Band-Aids, and players are now able to stay up as late as they want and eat all the junk food in the world. 

Ex-professional football player Adrian Peterson disagrees with Dr. Karten and Coach Taylor.  Peterson, hall of fame running back for the Minnesota Vikings, cites his football experience, “Kids don’t listen until you hit them.  Football is the same way.  Not just hitting our players, that’s stupid.  We need kids for these players to hit.  That’s how you win championships.”

While the hope is, of course, to drive more wins, only time will tell if the Stanford Cardinal is able to turn their program around.  Either way, we’re here for them.

You May Also Like

Underwhelmed by your bomb threat typeface

It’s common knowledge that all proper criminals have fantastic marketing. For the…

Inspiring: This Nerd Made a Startup to Determine Your Next Halloween Costume

BERKELEY, CA—Described as the next Sam Bankman-Fried and/or Elizabeth Holmes by his…

Progressive, I Guess? Turtles Can Vote Now, But They Blindly Support Racist Candidates

In a bold leap towards inclusivity, Congress has passed the ‘Testudine Suffrage…

Five Nights at Freddy’s movie review: I have never felt a woman’s touch.

This week, Universal Pictures released the widely anticipated Five Nights at Freddy’s…