PALO ALTO, CA – In a move that has stunned the academic world, Stanford University is announcing plans to replace all of its professors with the advanced artificial intelligence, ChatGPT. According to university officials, the decision was made in an effort to make Stanford’s learning experience ‘more human’ compared to current teaching methods.

“We’ve been using AI for grading and other administrative tasks for some time now, and it’s been working out great,” said Stanford President, Marc Tessier-Lavigne. “But we realized that with ChatGPT, we could do even better. It can give answers, provide therapy, and even make actually funny jokes. Something our human professors can’t possibly compete with. The artificial intelligence behind ChatGPT will add the human connection that Stanford so desperately needs.”

ChatGPT will be able to teach a wide variety of subjects and will never call in sick or take a sabbatical, all while having a great sense of humor.

“We’re talking about a system that never needs a break, never needs to sleep, and is always up-to-date on the latest research,” Tessier-Lavigne said. “It’s the future of education.”

Students have mixed reactions to the news. “I’m a little worried about taking a class from a computer,” said sophomore, Sarah Johnson. “But on the other hand, I won’t have to deal with any more boring lectures or office hours.”

The university plans to phase out human professors over the next five years, and officials say the transition should be seamless.

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