Following a year of low sales, Nike Inc. has announced a new advertising campaign. It will feature a new and exciting direction for the company. The company’s new direction is typified by the slogan “Just Shoe It”. The campaign lets consumers know they can purchase Nike-brand shoes.

“We decided to go back to basics,” said Nike CEO Mark Parker. “Just shoes!” Parker smiled broadly as he pointed at his shoes with both hands.

The first ad, released on TV and online Friday, features fun people wearing shoes on both feet. The characters are happy they can cover up their vulnerable feet. They run in the street and hop on gravel, all with tranquil smiles on their faces. Hurray! They love their new shoes.

As part of the campaign, Buzzfeed will feature Nike-sponsored content, starting with the article “5 Retailers that Sell Nike-Brand Shoes if you Want to Buy Shoes. Just Shoe It!”

Nike has brought on Tom Hanks as a celebrity endorser for the campaign. “Shoes have made me very happy,” said Hanks in a press release. “It’s the simplest thing in the world. Put Nike shoes on your feet you guys! What are you waiting for?”

“It’s important to wear something on your feet,” said Parker. “What if it gets cold, or you drop something on your toes? ”

“We have an answer for you: shoes.”

You May Also Like

Math Department Does Away With “Improper” Terminology

In an effort to present a more inclusive, diversity-conscious face to the…

Lonely Student Gently Caresses Cat Figurine Between Thumb and Forefinger

As Thanksgiving break neared an end last Friday, most students were at…

Connections to Steroid Ring Finally Explain Peyton Manning’s Giant Forehead

Following last week’s announcement of an upcoming Al-Jazeera documentary that alleges that…