In a recent report acquired from an inside source, the Flipside has discovered that Rick Scott, recently reelected governor of the state of Florida, is coming to get you, no matter what.

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   “Now that I’ve been re-elected as governor of our beautiful sunshine state, I am most definitely coming for you, and soon,” Scott stated cheerfully in a press release.

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The Republican incumbent reportedly dedicated over 13 million dollars of his personal finances in order to secure his victory over opponent, former Gov. Charlie Crist; allegedly, he is now ready to hunker down and get to work on stabilizing the revitalized Florida economy, as well as, of course, finding you, wherever you may try to hide.

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Sources close to Scott revealed that the 61-year-old politician and former venture capitalist has in fact been watching you from afar for the past eighteen months.

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   “Rick has had his dead little eyes on you for some time” reported his press secretary Pearl Jacobs.  “He has extensively researched your friends, your family, your fears.

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   Oh boy, is he coming.”

As of press time, Rick Scott is in exactly the place where you least expect him, crouched in a predatory manner, waiting.

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