From the moment their wheels collided, they knew it had to be fate.

With a nostalgic gleam in her eye, junior Allison Gauge recounts a memory close to her heart that almost all Stanford students can relate to: her very first bike crash on campus.

“As soon as I ran into [James], it was just like, we connected, you know? I was cruising down Lomita Mall and he was just turning out of the Quad. He really knocked me off my pedals when he hit me from behind… our spokes got all tangled and I bruised both my knees in the incident.” James Woods, her first crash, also shared his side of the story. “I’m really glad she was my first,” he asserted, smiling dreamily. “It really was destiny that brought us together; our bikes just have such a magnetic attraction.

Our frames are very well suited for each other, and we even have the same taste in clip-on headlights.”

Other students have very different perspectives on their first crashes, but still regard the events as major life milestones. “I don’t really remember my first crash,” noted senior Graham Parks. “It was such a long time ago, and I was really drunk at the time. I was just starting to bike back to Wilbur from an SAE party when this girl flew out of nowhere and hit me. Like I said, the details are all really fuzzy, and I’m kind of embarrassed it happened in such a public place. I think U-locks were involved somehow, and a couple extra bikes from Synergy joined in at some point. I can’t tell you how glad I am I was wearing a helmet though, I don’t know what I would have done without protection.”

Freshman Morgan Peters added his experience, wistfully remarking that he hasn’t “been able to get in on the action” even though it’s been almost a month. “I’ve been going out at least once every weekend, and I always hit up all the major bike racks,” he remarked. “I don’t know what I’ve been doing wrong.” When questioned about future prospects, however, Peters seemed a bit more hopeful. “There’s this one little number who’s always parked outside my dorm, and sometimes I see her next to the Econ building on my way to CS106A.

She’s a sleek black six-speed, and she has one of those rear bike baskets and this really great set of handlebars.”

“Maybe I’ll bump into her sometime.”

You May Also Like

Utilitarian Really Wants Last Piece of Cake

Starbucks Completes Purchase of “Big Game” Naming Rights;  Name Changed to “Venti Game”

As part of their aggressive expansion plan on the Stanford campus, Starbucks…

Stanford Brings In Linguistics Professor To Teach Potty Language