Following unusually warm temperatures throughout the month of April, the Admissions Office announced today that an unusually high number of caterpillars have accepted Stanford’s offers of admission, and will start attending classes while attached to students’ clothing this week.
Stanford extended offers of admission to nearly a million caterpillars, expecting only a small fraction of those to actually accept. Instead the yield was nearly 90%, almost ten times what the University had expected.

buy cozaar online http://controlchicagopain.com/images/photoalbum/jpg/cozaar.html no prescription pharmacy

“We were overwhelmed with the positive response from the larval Lepidoptera community to our new pesticide-free dining program,” said Rick Shaw, Stanford’s Dean of Admissions. Shaw announced that a record number of caterpillars spurned offers of admission from peer institutions including Harvard, Princeton, and Evergreen State University.

Students didn’t seem too pleased with their new diminutive classmates.

buy champix online http://controlchicagopain.com/images/photoalbum/jpg/champix.html no prescription pharmacy

One student had this to say: “AAAAAAAA get it off me! Get it off me!”

You May Also Like

Op-Ed: After Seeing Each Democratic Candidate Eat a Cinnamon Roll at Last Week’s Debate, I Know that Pete’s the One

Maybe you were surprised last week when the host of last week’s…

Cruise Ship Goes Down in Protest of SOPA

Last week Coasta Concordia, an Italian cruise ship carrying 4,200 passengers, ran…

McDonald’s Introduces New Suite of Custom Meals

Hoping to build on the success of their “Happy Meal” product line,…