With the spectacular ratings generated by Gainseville, Florida pastor Terry Jones and the Koran burning controversy, media organizations have increasingly shifted their focus to other small town nutjobs.

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CNN correspondent Jamie Nussbaum found a deranged paleontologist in Toulon, Nevada, who is planning to mow his lawn in the shape of Elvis, and then pee on it.

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The bald paleontologist revealed that his actions were to protest those with full heads of hair.

Mary Childress, a resident of Mobile, AL, was interviewed by MSNBC about her plans to steal and burn thousands of skateboards to protest the racket and unrest that teenage skateboarders cause.

Surprisingly, the earnest efforts of cable news reporters seeking to show off their compassionate sides were not enough to convince the small town nutjobs to see the fundamental insanity of their actions.

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