STANFORD, CA—Last week, Jay de la Torre, Vice President of the ASSU, left office after breaking the Honor Code in CS 106A. But while The Stanford Daily and the rest of the mainstream liberal media on campus have depicted de la Torre as a cheater, they are missing the real story. Jay de la Torre is a hero.

The honor code is an important part of our daily lives, but despite its importance, it is frustratingly cryptic. As de la Torre explained, “The Honor Code says students ‘will not give or receive aid in examinations…reports, or…any other work.’ How am I supposed to read that and know what to do? I had to break the Honor Code—not just for me, but for all the students of Stanford.”

His first step was to copy his friend’s code in CS 106A.

“I wanted to look at a different code to learn how I should approach the problem. Fortunately, my friend Ryan is an expert at this stuff; he writes new code every week. I figured that if I could learn what his code meant, the Honor Code would be a piece of cake. So I had him send me some files. After studying them for several hours, I took a break to do some CS homework and then, after hours of tedious work, I unraveled the mystery.”

As soon as de la Torre discovered the true meaning of the Honor Code, he went straight to the ASSU Senate where he announced his discoveries: “Ladies and gentlemen of the Senate—I have spent the past several hours poring over the Honor Code, casting aside its facade of integrity, and paving the way for a better future. After taking the code, rearranging its letters, and applying a Fibonacci sequence—in short, after breaking the code, I found that the message hidden inside was a simple one word command: ‘resign.’”

“So now, to benefit the students of this university and to execute the true will of Leland Stanford, I am officially stepping down from my post as ASSU Vice President. I plan to take the next quarter off to write a book detailing the methods I used to break the Honor Code. I also hope to begin deciphering the Uniform Code of Military Justice—I have a few sources, I just need to find a way to make them talk. I am proud to have broken the Honor Code, and, if given the opportunity, I would do it again.”

So you see, de la Torre really is a hero. He broke the Honor Code—but he broke it with confidence and shared its meaning with the world.

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