This Horny Little Guy’s Favorite Part of Thanksgiving is Stuffing the Turkey

Thanksgiving is finally coming up, a holiday meant to celebrate gratitude and…

Op-Ed: Please Stop Saying “Fuck Cal”, My Ass Hurts

Berkley Student Calvin Juan, or better known as Cal, claims to be…

Head Coach Troy Taylor to Try “Gentle Parenting Our Football Team Into a Win

In a recent press conference following Stanford football’s upsetting defeat to the…

Report: It Takes Knowing Where The Clit Is To Not Touch It

In a groundbreaking discovery that has shaken the very foundations of modern…

FBI Typo Confusing “Columbae” with “Colombia” Leads to Stanford Drug Bust

Two Stanford undergraduates, sophomore Preston Stippen and junior Levi Schumaker, are filing a…

Brock Purdy Announces He’s Dating Justin Bieber

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Just in time for Super Bowl LVIII, San…

Nothing Better To Do? Ron DeSantis Named Next President of Stanford

Ron DeSantis (seen here after publishing the next 20,000-word installment of his…

Freshmen Underwhelmed by Size of “Big Game”

For many new freshmen like Eva Bassett, the first Big Game marked…

Five Nights at Freddy’s movie review: I have never felt a woman’s touch.

This week, Universal Pictures released the widely anticipated Five Nights at Freddy’s…

Getting into holiday spirit, KA switches to pumpkin-spice flavored roofies

Kappa Alpha announced today that this Halloweekend, they will celebrate spooky season…